Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
