If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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