What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
