it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
