Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
