I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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