i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
