Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Randomize
