I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
