I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
