you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
should my penis look like a turkey
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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