the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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