Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
