Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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