Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Randomize
