theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
