Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize