So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I think your dad took our porno
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
