I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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