D3 body, D1 cock
Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
