We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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