Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Randomize
