The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
This baby is an asshole
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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