you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
