nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
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