Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
