I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
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