Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
