True but thats because hes a fetus.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
My ass is underappreciated
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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