I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
