That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
