Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize