if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
