my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
