First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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