I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
