why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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