I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Randomize
