Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
