Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
