How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
