I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
