So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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