im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize