apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
