it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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