I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
