Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
