We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
