he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize