I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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