Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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