So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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