I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
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