well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
This house was built for laser tag.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
