Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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