you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
