fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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