You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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