covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
