I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
