I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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