So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
