census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
