My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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